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The Fire Is Older Than All Of Us

The Evolution of Kansas City’s Flow Scene

“Do you even flow bro?” Welcome to spin city. The Kansas City flow arts scene did not appear out of nowhere. We inherited it. Every burn scar, every drum circle, every renegade, every hoop jam, every weird warehouse show, every LED toy, every busking spot, every late-night parking lot spin renegade—is possible because of a whole lot of people who built this community before we even knew it meant to run saftey.

And a lot of us did it FOR YEARS broke. And sober. While raising children. Weathering breakups in peresonal and professional relationships. Even when the city treated us like freaks, and we were asked not to spin, or banned from venues!.

We flow, because somebody else made it possible to spin out in public in the first place. I remember when the Bottleneeck and Liberty Hall started banning hula hoops because we all were beginners and back then hoops would go flying hitting people, taking out eyes left and right. It wasn’t a good look, and I avoided it for YEARS. Until Ina Moon finally forced a hula hoop into my hand and said “you will master this”. That’s when I started taking it seriously.

Let’s go WAY back

Electric Park is one of the most fascinating—and influential—pieces of Kansas City history. Long before Worlds of Fun, there was Electric Park: a dazzling amusement park covered in thousands of electric lights that helped define entertainment in the city and later inspired a young Walt Disney. 

The First Electric Park (1899–1906)

The story begins with the Heim brothers, owners of the massive Heim Brewery in Kansas City’s East Bottoms. To attract people to their brewery and streetcar line, they built an amusement park adjacent to the brewery. Visitors could ride the trolley to the park, enjoy attractions, and even drink beer piped directly from the brewery. It quickly became one of the nation’s earliest successful amusement parks.  The park featured rides, gardens, fountains, theaters, and one of its most famous attractions, the Mystic Chute water ride. Electric lighting was still a novelty at the time, and the illuminated park became a regional sensation. 

In 1907 the Heim brothers opened a much larger Electric Park at 46th Street and The Paseo. The new park covered nearly 30 acres and was served by multiple streetcar lines. Opening day attracted an astonishing 53,000 visitors. 

The new park featured:

  • Roller Coasters
  • Swimming beaches and water slides
  • Vaudeville acts
  • Dance halls
  • Concerts
  • Boat rides
  • Gardens designed by famed landscape architect George Kessler
  • An alligator farm
  • Massive illuminated fountains and promenades
  • Most famously, the park glowed with approximately 100,000 electric light bulbs, earning it the nickname “Kansas City’s Coney Island.” (By 1911 it was drawing around one million visitors annually.)

When Prohibition arrived nationally in 1920 through the 18th Amendment, the Heim Brewery lost its primary source of revenue. The brewery attempted to survive by producing near beer and other products, but it was never as profitable. This weakened the financial foundation that had helped support Electric Park and other brewery-related enterprises.

That said, Prohibition did not directly close Electric Park. The larger and more famous Electric Park at 46th and The Paseo continued operating throughout the early Prohibition years. The final blow came in May 1925, when a massive fire destroyed much of the park. Faced with rebuilding costs, a changing entertainment landscape, increasing automobile travel, and the financial challenges that had accumulated during the Prohibition era, the owners chose not to rebuild.  Some think that the fire was started intentionally to get the insurance money. 

The Walt Disney Connection

One reason Electric Park remains so important is its influence on Walt Disney.  Before he became one of the most famous entertainment pioneers in the world, Walt Disney spent several formative years in Kansas City. Disney moved to Kansas City as a child in 1911 and visited Electric Park frequently. Years later he cited its beauty, cleanliness, landscaping, fireworks, train, and immersive atmosphere as major inspirations for Disneyland. Many historians consider Electric Park one of the conceptual ancestors of modern theme parks. 

From 1921–1923, Disney operated the Laugh-O-Gram Studio out of a 31st and Troost Building, where he experimented with animation, created short fairy-tale cartoons, and worked alongside future animation legends such as Ub Iwerks. Although the studio eventually went bankrupt, Disney developed many of the storytelling and animation techniques that would later shape the Disney empire. Kansas City is also closely tied to Disney lore because he later said that a tame mouse at his Laugh-O-Gram office helped inspire the character who became Mickey Mouse. Today, the historic Laugh-O-Gram building is being restored as a museum and creative center celebrating Disney’s Kansas City roots.

Pre “Flow“

Before there were curated Instagram flow retreats and sponsored LED props, Kansas City already had an underground movement culture. The roots stretched through:

  • City Market Performance artists
  • Renaissance Festival camps
  • African drum traditions
  • Belly dance circles
  • Punk houses (Lawrence, KS, Outhouse!)
  • Industrial performance art
  • Burning Man culture
  • Circus communities

City Market Street Performers

Kansas City’s tradition of public performance can be traced back to its historic streetcar era, when the River Market served as the city’s original commercial and cultural center. The first streetcar line began in City Market in 1870, connecting downtown to surrounding neighborhoods and helping shape the city’s growth. In the decades that followed, the River Market evolved from a transportation hub into a gathering place for musicians, festivals, street performers, and public celebrations. The modern revival of public performance accelerated with downtown revitalization efforts in the 2000s and the launch of the free KC Streetcar in 2016, which reconnected the River Market, Downtown, and Crossroads districts. Programs like Art in the Loop expanded this vision by transforming streetcar stops, parks, and public spaces into stages for poets, dancers, musicians, and multidisciplinary performance artists. Today, the KC Streetcar corridor functions as a moving arts district where civic space, public transit, and creative expression converge, continuing a tradition that began more than 150 years ago.

The modern flow arts movement in America emerged from a unique convergence of juggling culture, circus arts, martial arts, dance, rave culture, and festival communities during the late 1980s and 1990s. While many flow props have ancient roots—such as poi from the Māori people of New Zealand and staff spinning traditions found throughout Asia—the contemporary American flow arts scene began taking shape through juggling festivals, drum circles, and experimental performance communities. The movement accelerated dramatically through events such as Burning Man, regional burner gatherings, Rainbow Gatherings, and music festivals, where artists began blending object manipulation, dance, meditation, fire performance, and self-expression into a distinct art form. By the 2000s, hoop dance, poi spinning, staff manipulation, contact juggling, and fire arts had become staples of festival culture, supported by organizations such as Flow Arts Institute and a growing network of teachers, gatherings, and online communities.

3rd Degree Burn – Vesuvius Lit the Match

3rd Degree Burn formed in 2003 and was the first fire group in Kansas City that predated Vesuvius in 2005. They performed and practiced at a lot at the River Market and riverside spaces.  Getting the majority of gigs in the fetish community, they also performed at concert preparties, Indoor Football superbowl half time shows, Arenacross halftime shows in Kemper Arena, West Bottoms haunted houses, and more. 3rd Degree Burn was also the first fire group from Missouri to spin during the preburn at Burning Man 2004. As Agni Tara’s fire performing was rooted in primal drumming, and they soon connected to the 7 piece West African drumming group Djembe Kaan. In 2004, Agni Tara became the first Fire Goddess and served for 13 years at Interfuse, a regional burning man event in which Zay, Chase, Booser and a few other cats decided needed to happpen once they discovered the burer magic. (Thanks guys!).

In 2005 feeling creatively stunted, Agni Tara went on to form a new group of like minded members, Vesuvius Tribe consisted of 5 original members and 2 safeties, Over the course of 5 years, 40+ performers and safeties have joined the tribe and contributed to paving the pathway for fire arts in Kansas City. alented beginning blended choreography, theatrical storytelling, ritual aesthetics, drumming culture, and raw spectacle at a time when most people had never seen organized fire arts outside of Renaissance Festivals or underground gatherings.

By 2006 and 2007, Vesuvius was producing large*scale public performances across the region including a fullu choreographed 30-minute Alice in Wonderland fire show inside Union Station for Priest of Pallas 2006 complete with a flaming tea party. Quixotic just forming opened the show and Vesuvius Tribe performing alongside Lucent Dossier closed out the evening.

Performing at local art events like Chalk and Walk, Artopia, Fringe Fest 2005, EDM, and Burning Man events, they eventually introduced the city and held the reins to Waterfire performances. Vesuvius became a bridge between underground fire circles and multidisciplinary performance art, helping lay the groundwork for the KC flow arts, busker, and performance communities that followed. 2007 Vesuvius Tribe was performing LED and fire on stage for String Cheese at Big Summer Classic at Camp Zoe in 2007. The connection made at this event led to moving into more LED and busker events. Being one of the first groups to perform at Rothbury Music Festival, which later changed its name to Electric Forrest, meant they had to get creative since no fire was allowed in the forest. They came up with 7 non-fire different acts. Being called back the following year, the El-Wire stick figures running rampant at midnight to 2:00 am was a hot ticket! Rothbury was their biggest paid gig at $10,000, but split between 20+ performers, gas, and costumes. What they really gained was experience and a whole lot of fun.

They also performed with Quixotic at Priests of Pallas 2006. It was their first year and Quixotic opened with a peaceful contemporary dance. They did Alice and Wonderland with fire, and Lucent Dossier closed the night with an epic perormance.  After that, Quixotic got some corporate money and basically started emulating Lucent Dossier shows, which took off.  They all performed at the Beaumont Club on Funksgiving with the VibeTribe in 2015,  and when an inexpireneced Q fire performer set the stage on fire, Vesuvius had to extinguish the flame because they had no safety equipment. The irony is palpable. 

Vesuvius Lit the Match

If you want to understand modern Kansas City fire culture, you can turn next to Vesuvius.  Not because they were the only ones spinning fire—but because they helped turn scattered curiosity into an organized community.  They performed at Ren Fest, underground gatherings, Camp Gaea ritual shows, and alternative arts events when fire performance still scared the hell out of most people.  There were no safe, polished community spaces then. There were parking lots.  Vacant spaces. Word-of-mouth gatherings. Sketchy fuel cans.  And trust.  You got to learn when you showed up because elders shared knowledge directly.

KC Drum Tribe and Affiliates

According to aerialist and educator Rachel McMeachin, elements of Kansas City’s modern flow arts community can be traced back to the late 1990s. After producing a performance by the industrial performance group Crash Worship in 1996 and later touring with the group, McMeachin began experimenting with poi and fire props around 1997. During this period, artists and performers regularly gathered at a warehouse called Infinite Sun near 18th and Oak for drum circles, dance parties, and fire spinning. These gatherings served as an early precursor to the flow jams and community practice sessions that would later become common throughout the region.

The scene intersected with Kansas City’s experimental arts community. Groups such as Seemen, an offshoot of Survival Research Laboratories, brought interactive kinetic fire sculptures to local warehouse events. Another collective, the B-Team, combined glass art and performance by pouring molten glass onto the ground while performers tap danced across its surface. These collaborations brought together musicians, visual artists, fire performers, dancers, and experimental theater practitioners, contributing to a growing culture of interdisciplinary performance in Kansas City during the late 1990s and early 2000s.

A decade later, Rachel McMeachin founded Voler – Thieves of Flight, which became Kansas City’s first dedicated aerial arts studio. Established in 2007, Voler introduced aerial silks, lyra, trapeze, acroyoga, and circus arts training to the region. The organization expanded into both a performance ensemble and training academy, helping develop aerialists, circus artists, dancers, and flow performers throughout the Midwest. Today, Voler continues to operate from its studio in Kansas City, Kansas, serving as both an educational center and professional performance company.

KC Drum Tribe grew out of a small drumming meetup in the early 2000s that originally met at Wild Oats in Overland Park. When organizer Kim Ousler stepped away, Skot “Skewb” Person took over, moved gatherings to Loose Park on Monday nights, and helped transform the circle into a thriving community centered around rhythm, dance, and participation. Loose Park KC Drum Tribe became Kansas City’s infrastructure for alternative culture. Every Monday night, that was where hoopers met drummers, fire spinners met poets, burners met musicians, travelers met organizers, and where weird kids realized they weren’t alone. What began with just a handful of drummers grew into gatherings of more than 100 people, attracting hoopers, dancers, fire performers, families, and festival-goers. Over time, KC Drum Tribe became one of the region’s most visible community drum circles, helping nurture the culture of flow arts, drum-and-dance gatherings, and participatory performance. For many artists, performers, and free spirits, Monday nights at Loose Park became a weekly ritual built around one simple idea: everyone belongs in the circle.  At one point in 2011 or 2012 Drum Tribe started meeting at the KC VibeTribe space. Have you heard about the VibeTribe?

Vibe Tribe KC Tried to Build an Actual Home

Well, Yosh’s Loft in the West Bottomes technically did it first and better, but around 2011, The VibeTribe KC emerged as something ambitious:  not just a jam group—but a multidisciplinary artist collective full of: Fire spinners, Hoopers, Poets, DJs, Belly dancers, MCs, Painters, Performance artists, Costume designers. 

MissConeption got a phone call asking “how many performance artists can you bring to Kansrockas?” which was a new arts festival at the Kansas Racetrack Speedway, with Eminem and GirlTalk headlining #swooon. She said “IDK, 60?” Then she promptly called 60 of her friends saying “hey, we got a gig! Let’s go!”   From that spun running the children’s activities at Harvest Festival at Mullberry Mountain in Arkansas, Wakarusa’s bluegrass cousin festival, performing at Wakarusa and running the fire circle for several years at that festival and other regional events. VibeTribe was even given an art studio for $1 a year for two years, thanks to the generosity of arts patron and real estate man Gregg Patereson, who also owned the Uptown Arts Bar.  He dumped TONS of money into the performance arts, paying VibeTribers to busk and hold signs on stilts to draw attention to a flourishing arts district in Midtown.  (We were definitely not making him any money.)  For a moment, at 5504 Troost, there was an actual attempt to build a permanent creative sanctuary, which offered free yoga, dance and flow workshops to the community. It was a ‘pay what you can’ dues system, where everyone involved was asked to contribute $25-50 a month to cover the overhead of water and electricity and keeping ice in the cooler on nights when we had events.  (In two years we operated, not ne person ever actually paid any dues, and MissConception was stuck with the utilities and liability.) Haters mean you’re doing something right, right?

Parralelling this movement and supporting the ethos, Emerald City was a housing initiative attempting to infuse artists into houses on Troost, helping them get foreclosed houses and starting a Friday night art walk.  All of it folded into the fabric of chaos when people started taking advance of the perks, breaking into the art studio, leaving he water running in the bathrooms all night to run up the water bill and sabbatogue the success of the organizers.  The VibeTribe was divided…. Half of the performers wanted to be professional, polished and paid well to ever leave the house.  The other half wanted to give it away for free for the love on the street in jeans and sloppy t-shirts and looked like abunch of clowns who had nothing better to do but jam out with their clams out.  Eventually, the organizer, MissConception, gave up and folded her cards, leaving town to escape the drama and criticism.

Spaces like the VibeTribe and Yosh’s Loft existed because people sacrificed for them.  Landlords forgave rent because they wanted to see art in the city. Volunteers cleaned bathrooms for the love.  People organized endless unpaid rehearsals for a shot at guest list opportunities because the promoters believed in the performing arts and knew we didn’t have any money, but we all wanted to support the music! 

Nobody ever had any money, and when we did, when it was spit, there wasn’t much to go around per pearson. Guests lists and exposure, that was the most valuable currency.  Oh, and we had a TON of fun. “One tribe, one vibe!”  But small towns have loose lips.

KC Fringe Changed the Question

Then KC Fringe arrived and changed everything. Because suddenly, flow artists had to answer: “What are you actually saying?”

Not: “How many tosses can you do?”
Not: “How cool is your dragon staff?”
But: “What is the meaning of this performance?”

That’s when flow arts in Kansas City began evolving into:

  • Theater
  • Spoken word
  • Immersive art
  • Interdisciplinary storytelling
  • Political expression
  • Ritual
  • Movement poetry

Groups like Vibe Tribe and Vesuvius helped push that transition publicly. Flow arts stopped being merely a spectacle.  It became art.

Don’t forget about the Hoop Mammas!

The Hoop Mamas are one of the most influential hoop dance and flow arts businesses to emerge from Lawrence, Kansas, and they played a significant role in the growth of modern hoop culture throughout the Midwest and beyond. Founded in Lawrence in the late 2000s, Ali MacAuley head Hoop Mama started a handmade hula hoop company and quickly grew alongside the explosion of the flow arts movement that was happening at festivals such as Wakarusa, Burning Man, Electric Forest, and countless regional gatherings. The company became known for producing high-quality custom dance hoops and helping introduce thousands of people to hoop dance as both an art form and a movement practice. By their own account, they have sold more than 40,000 professional hula hoops since 2008. 

What made Hoop Mamas special wasn’t simply the hoops—it was the community. Lawrence in the late 2000s was a fertile breeding ground for creative culture. Hoop Mamas became part of that ecosystem, helping connect hoopers, teachers, and performers across the region. Many Midwest flow artists got their first professional hoop from Hoop Mamas or learned through workshops and community events connected to the company.  The hoop mammas taught me SO many skills, and made the best hula hoops (did you know it’s supposed to go up to your belly button for the right sized hoop?)

Their success coincided with the broader transformation of hooping from a children’s toy into a recognized performance art. During this era, hoop dance evolved into a discipline that combined dance, circus arts, meditation, fitness, and creative expression. Festivals like Wakarusa helped accelerate that growth, and Lawrence became one of several unexpected hubs where the culture flourished. Now circus troupes like The Last Carnival and Rekinection crew continue to set the stage for professional performance artistry and education in the midwest.

THEN, when MissConception moved back to Kansas City after graduating from KU in 2008, she met Ziggy, Luna Breeze, and Surka Noelle, who were the most fantastic hula hoop entertainers around! They blew minds wind open, and taught everyone so many tricks! We would practice at Crosstown Station jam night, or on the Nelson lawn regularly, somebody started a performance troupe called the Wonderful Travels of Mr 9. We were gifted this weird office building hippie arts commune above the Coffee Wonk on Main street, and it was a hipppie haven! Once that dissolved and Chumsey the Clown left town (long story), all of the best performers started moving to the coast, circa 2009. MissC started getting calls. “We need fire dancers for this event” or “Do you know anybody that can teach hula hoopping to the Girl Scout camp?” so she figured out how to master the flame and started organizing as well as teaching. As the VibeTribe began to take a more central role in fire and flow, the band DumpTruck Butterlips spun off in full affect, to tour nationaly before sponteneously combusting due to emotional ‘differences’. (Another blog… another day.) But man they sure made hooping look cool!

WaterFire and Busker Festival Made It Public

WaterFire KC was one of Kansas City’s most beloved public art events, blending fire, water, music, and community into a large-scale immersive experience along Brush Creek near the Country Club Plaza. WaterFire originated in Providence, Rhode Island, where artist Barnaby Evans created the first installation in 1994. The concept featured dozens of floating bonfires on urban waterways accompanied by music and performance, transforming public space into a communal art experience. The project became internationally known and was later adapted in several cities around the world. 

In 2007, Barnaby Evans brought a custom version of WaterFire to Kansas City on Brush Creek, creating a uniquely local interpretation of the project. The event quickly became a signature fall celebration featuring floating fire braziers, live music, dance, visual art, and community gathering along the creek. 

Over the years, WaterFire KC showcased a wide range of local artists, musicians, performers, and arts organizations while drawing thousands of visitors to experience Kansas City in a completely different way. We used to firedance on boats as they floated down brush creek lighting up the fires!  And we were paid.   It was an honor to participate, and all of the tribes came together for this epic city communion.

Like Art in the Loop, WaterFire wasn’t simply an event—it was an example of creative placemaking. It transformed public infrastructure into an artistic experience and encouraged people to see familiar spaces with fresh eyes.

For many artists, WaterFire represented:

  • Public art outside traditional galleries
  • Community participation
  • Cross-disciplinary collaboration
  • Temporary transformation of urban space
  • Accessibility to audiences who may not typically attend arts events

When the Lawrence Busker Festival began in 2008, making Lawrence one of only a handful of U.S. cities to host a dedicated international-style busker festival. From the beginning, it distinguished itself by including poetry and spoken word performers alongside traditional buskers such as jugglers, comedians, magicians, and circus artists. 

The festival feels like a natural extension of Lawrence’s long-standing reputation as an arts, music, and counterculture hub. With its historic downtown, vibrant street life, University of Kansas influence, and history of supporting independent artists, Lawrence proved to be fertile ground for a festival built around creativity, spontaneity, and public participation. 

Each year downtown Lawrence transforms into a walkable wonderland of performance “pitches” where artists perform throughout the weekend. Audiences wander from show to show discovering:

  • Acrobats
  • Fire performers
  • Jugglers
  • Musicians
  • Magicians
  • Comedians
  • Circus acts
  • Poets and spoken-word artists

Recent festivals have included dedicated areas such as Poetry Alley, the Sorcerers Circle, musicians’ stages, and performances by internationally touring buskers alongside local Kansas artists.  One of the things that makes the Lawrence Busker Festival special is its relationship with Art Tougeau, Lawrence’s beloved human-powered art car parade. During Busker weekend, downtown often becomes a celebration of creativity on wheels, performance art, costumes, and community participation, creating an atmosphere that many attendees describe as part street fair, part circus, part arts festival, and part family reunion. 

Today, the Lawrence Busker Festival is very much associated with Richard Renner, performance artist and clown connoisseur who serves as its director and public face. Multiple festival announcements, press releases, and community profiles identify him as the festival organizer, director, creative force, and founder, and he truly is a dream to work with. He holds space for so any local and national artists, currating the most talented street perforers and sideshow variety for this special event.

Two of the biggest honrs of my life were performing as a mermaid spinning fire palms on a boat on Brush Creek and hosting Poetry Alley at this year’s Busker Festival. Oh, and I kinda sorta got to open for the Flaming Lips one year too :D.

Who is Richard Renner?

Richard is one of those rare people whose personal biography and the Busker Festival are deeply intertwined. He is:

  • A longtime Lawrence-based performer.
  • A professional clown, juggler, physical comedian, actor, and street performer.
  • A graduate of the University of Kansas with a theater degree.
  • A student of legendary performance teachers including Marcel Marceau, Yuri Belov, and Avner the Eccentric. 

Before creating the Busker Festival, he spent decades performing as a variety artist and touring entertainer. His background comes from the worlds of vaudeville, circus arts, physical comedy, mime, and street theater rather than traditional arts administration. 

According to the festival’s own history, in 2008 Renner found himself unexpectedly unemployed from a long-running performance job and began looking more seriously at street performing and busker culture. That same year, Lawrence launched what would become the Lawrence Busker Festival. 

In recent interviews, Renner has described the festival as a gift back to Lawrence and something that has become larger than himself. He has repeatedly emphasized the community-building aspect of the event and the way people return year after year to reconnect. 

One of the things that makes Lawrence unique is that it has always welcomed poets, spoken word artists, and interactive performers alongside jugglers, fire artists, magicians, and circus acts. That’s unusual in the busker world and likely one reason the festival became such a natural home for performance artists. It truly invites performers (and audiences) to put their money where their mouth is!  Busking pushed performers to work on creating that audience relationship, and taught performers something social media still cannot: how to earn attention honestly. And how to ASK for money.

The Burning Man Connection

While WaterFire predates many modern placemaking movements and is organized very differently than Burning Man, it shares several core ideas:

  • Art as an experience rather than an object
  • Temporary transformation of space
  • Community gathering around spectacle
  • Interdisciplinary collaboration
  • The creation of wonder in unexpected places

The difference is that Burning Man creates a temporary city in the desert, while WaterFire transforms an existing city for an evening. Both ask a similar question:

What happens when art becomes part of the environment rather than something you merely observe?

Here’s the Hard Truth

Every arts community eventually faces the same danger: Amnesia.

Young artists arrive and assume the scene has always existed exactly as they found it. They mistake inheritance for invention. And then they begin treating elders as irrelevant the moment those elders stop looking fashionable. But the reason you have:

  • Safe jams
  • Public events
  • Paid gigs
  • Circus schools
  • Flow festivals
  • Collaborative venues
  • & audiences willing to watch fire at all

…is because earlier generations normalized it through decades of unpaid labor and risk.

Respecting elders does not mean blind obedience. It means understanding: you are standing on architecture you did not build.

Know Your Place

“Knowing your place” does not mean: “Stay small. It means: understand your relationship to the past. Learn who came before you.

Keep asking questions (these are questions I should have asked 20 years ago when I started spinning fire and herding cats!)

Thank organizers. Volunteer to support the people who have been doing this longer than you have been alive.

Teach beginners who want to learn. Don’t be “too cool”. Run safety. Pick up trash. Credit your teachers. Stay honest.

Learn the history of the spaces you perform in. Support older artists before they disappear quietly.

Because one day you will wake up and realize: you became the elder. And the scene will only survive if someone younger chooses to remember you, too.

The Fire Is Older Than All Of Us

Kansas City flow arts was never just about spinning props. It was always about: community, ritual, improvisation, music, movement, street culture, radical creativity, and the temporary construction of belonging.

The props change. The technology evolves. The platforms rearrange.  But the fire itself is older than all of us.  And if you are lucky enough to carry that torch for a while, the least you can do is learn whose hands held it before yours while you pass the tourch safely.

(Don’t even get me starated on the Cowtown Ballroom music scene!)

Burn bright friends (and foes),

MissContradiction

(If you have a peice of history that is missing or you would like to add, email sara.serendip@gmail.com)

Art, Evolution, Health, Poetry

Healing Feelings

“Creating all this drama while running from our trauma” Professor Nightlife Jones

“Despite all my rage, Im still just a rat in a cage!” – Jai Love

I’ve come to love the sound of the recycling jingling in and out of cans outside my bedroom window on the street below…. not because of the environmental implications, I mean, but because it sounds like home. My home, now. Life on Clement. 94118. I chose this very place, of all the towns and cities in the United States, I picked here. The Inner Richmond. Why?  Many reasons. Fate. Chance.  Coupled with my proximity to work in Tiburon at the synagogue, and for a variety of other factors involving landscape, environment, proximity and creativity, this is my home of choice.  My sanctuary. My center. The eye of my storm.   

That’s not to say I don’t doubt myself everyday. Did I make the right choice? Pick the right city? The right job? The right part of town.   I KNOW that I picked the right partner, thank goodness, and I am grateful everyday for that clarity. So why have I been so…. disillusioned?  So unhappy.  What more could I want?

Yes, I do miss my family. But I like it here. I like who I have become.  I’m not as sweet as I used to be, but much kinder and smarter, I’d like to think.  Rougher.  More careful with my energy and time and space. Protective. A mamma bear.  I work out now, sort of.  I actively DON’T eat cheese at every meal.  I don’t smoke… near as much as I used to.  I don’t weigh myself down with unnecessary bullshit and small talk with people I don’t care about.  So where are these giant waves of sadness coming from? Are they a part of me? Or maybe much bigger than me? Generations larger than I can possibly comprehend, it seems.

And I am open to it.  I asked to understand, the human condition. I remember at six-years-old asking for answers of the universe.  I read Conversations with God and the Four Agreements at an early age, and lots of other spirituality self help type books that seemed reasonably informative.   I remember adults protecting me from the truth, for the same damn reasons we protect our own hearts and tune out our own minds when it’s convenient, which is more often than not these days.  Every night we feel the need to turn the volume up or down, it seems.  To alter our current state, because reality is not pretty. 

And sure, we can blame it on mercury in retrograde, or the solar storms, or claim we are just products of our environment, and that’s nice, to put a name on it. A blame. “Survival of the fittest”, gone wrong.  Of course, I am not niave enough to think it is all outside consequences no, I am open to it being all my fault. By no means is my life perfection; though I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  The amount of beauty and joy I have been shown far outweighs and exceeds the haunting of mistakes and misdeeds, that me and those who came before have scored. Everything we know is constantly in a stage of flux and transition; growing, changing, building, maintaining.  Disruption. Creation. On repeat. New twist.  Developed plots thicken. We grow sicker. We discover a cure.  It is true, that I have grown sicker, weaker, sadder. And it has been very hard for me to admit that to myself, because once you give it power, then it changes, right? 

Upon reflecting of my past, my relationships gone wrong, friendships failed, I have grown discouraged. Though admitting your mistakes is the first step to changing the future.  Please know that if I haven’t followed through or reached out to you lately, and I was supposed to, please forgive me. Life has been like a god damn tornado. I  lived my whole life in Kansas thinking I’d never seen a tornado, until I got to San Francisco and realized that the tornado was all around me. I was the calm. 

Somehow, I’ve thrown myself out of orbit. What was once an eye is now a limb, a gust, an upheaval of old foundation crumbled to new. As I continue to stumble down this dumbfounded road, seeing new walks of life, some pristine and some soot, I recognize my own depression is a result of years of neglect and emotional instability, from my own actions but also from the gusts of wind from other storms, other atmospheres, colliding.  Exhausted.  Worn. 

The storm comes and goes, and so does my vulnerability.  As I continue to try and be as present and available to others all the while taking care of my own sanity.  I want to do more. I aim to do more.  I will not give up on doing more, for myself and for my community. 

Sometimes it is as simple as switching your medication.    

Sometimes, it’s as simple as saying something.  Speaking up. 

Saying I’m sorry if you have to.  

Admitting your truth and finding your next step. 

Sourcing the pain, so you can work on healing the wound. 

My friend taught me a learning recently. She said “Sara, you’ve been so open, you’re forgetting to protect yourself”. And then she taught me to clear.  After years of being an empath, I now am aware of the consequences of neglecting that power. 

“Thank you (insert higher being here)
for clearing all draining and negative energy chords
in all directions of time. “

» three deep breaths – then follow with «

“Thank you (insert higher being)
for shielding me with 1000 feet of silver light
in all directions of time. And so it is”


-From April King_

Ripples that we make go everywhere, in all directions. We make them constantly- some microscopic and some so big we can’t even see that it’s a wave.

I Invite you, to be careful what you put in motion, as it may not turn out like you thought. You may not even be thinking about it consciously at all. Luck is chance and fate is a game. Back and forth. Sometimes you win sometimes you loose and you don’t have to play. You choose to feel it all or feel nothing. Both have consequence. Balance is only possible with out attachment and then constant upkeep of the body soul and mind / space we occupy. None of it matters and it all matters we all could argue reasoning for both. We are that enlightened. And yet we are our own enemy. We hold each other back. We fight the way of nature. We protect what we have know we hold onto tradition and the sacred for dear life maybe for a good reason maybe not. Sometimes both. The complexities of chance and fate and intentions at work here are astronomical unpredictable. The equation is long and the ripples are strong. Waves so big you may not even notice it.

In this day of age we are all ripe and raw.  We are BOTH sides of the coin and the paradox. We are all misconceptions. We could all argue both sides of the fence. So be careful what you say and always tell the truth. If you have the facts and integrity and kindness you will come out ahead and if for no one else but yourself. Be your own karma. Don’t forget to breath through it all. I love you. I’m working it out just as you are.  Maybe you’ve learned something and have something to teach me.  Don’t hold back; please, we need your voice.

“It’s about planting a seed, letting it grow
Nourish it, flourish is, give it grow, flow,
Water it down until the roots take hold
from the leaves on the trees to our breaks get old
Cultivate relationship millions of years,
Keep it strong, erase thereof fears.
Don’t you let no producer tell you that you can’t,
Just make sure you’re careful which seeds you plant” 

-MissConception, 2009, Plantin’ a Seed-

Art, Happenings, Poetry, social justice

Poetry as Personal Power

What helps you get through tough times in your life?

Poetry for Personal Power is a Midwest based non-profit organization designed to do the virtually unheard of.  Poetry for Personal Power, or P3 for short, provides health care messaging via community prevention info that manifest through paid gigs for sponsored artists.  Essentially, P3 has been allowing artists to use poetry and music to address mental health and wellness in the community, in order to improve the community at large… and it’s working!

Specifically focusing on  youth audiences and underprivileged communities, P3 hosts workshops, poetry readings, performances, and events of all shorts to get young people talking about mental health and wellness and what it means for them to deal with the struggles and complications of life.  Also known as peer support, P3 strives for a 70% hospital reduction rate, while intimating health care advocacy and research.

“What helps you through adversity? We are now in our seventh year with over 150 events per year, 75 sponsored artists and advocates in 7 regions, and research and peer support programs in full pilot trial modes! We are building a national replication process to share health care messaging, promote resilience in nonprofits, and increase the number of peer support programs. We are becoming an evidence based resilience messaging campaign with sponsored artists. We are also increasing Wellbeing Impact in host organizations with sponsored advocates.” -Poetry for Personal Power Website

So how can you get involved?

In 2017, the Kansas Mental Health coalition (KMHC) has a $120K grant to teach artists how to become citizen lobbyists. They are looking to pay stipends to people to learn to use arts and advocacy together to support social justice. Poetry for Personal Power and KMHC are doing a free one day training on March 14 for artists and advocates. P3 would like to invite anyone to attend, especially youth or young adult advocates. You can apply here to attend that training: http://kansasmentalhealthcoalition.onefireplace.com/event-2168073

Also, Poetry for Personal Power has a $5,000 grant to support youth and young adult artists from Kansas who want to become tobacco prevention advocates.

You can apply here: http://poetryforpersonalpower.com/artist-entrepreneur-supports/event-replication-application/

If you are interested in the Poetry for Personal Power initiative, you can always email corinna@poetryforpersonalpower.com for more info, or text 816-392-6074.

One of the best parts about Poetry for Personal Power is that the organization is actually paying artists to facilitate these actions and events.  You can check out artist profiles on the website here.  Get involved.  Get excited. And get ready, because P3 is about to revolutionize the way we look at healthcare, via ART!

Always,

MissCompassion

Art

I am an artist

I am an artist – an entertainer in every sense of the word.  I live for art.  Art is why I get out of bed most days.  And I don’t have a whole lot of say about it….  The impulse oozes out my pores and into my essence.  I get EXCITED about organizing my jewelry box.  Every thought becomes a plausible song lyric.  Every open mic an opportunity to be understood.  I live for craft day, okay, picking out my clothes every morning is an exciting opportunistic projection of expression.  Cooking dinner turns in to Instagram masterpieces, with a slight inkwell filter.  I have a tendency to turn my bedroom is a temple, with candles and sentimental shades of beauty. My bumper stickers have to say something.  I live to dance and I love to sing. Sing. SING!  Every moment is a chance to throw my hand up with a classy twist and a punch line (KISS) to wish you away on the ultimate ride. Tonight, I want to throw a party and invite everybody I know.  Get ‘em all in one room until they are best friends and forget to even call me when they throw their own parties.  When I do get invited, I’m on the guest list.  Because I am an artist.  In every sense of the title.  In every sense of the curse.  In ever sense of a blessing. I am an artist, and it’s the artist’s job, nay, DUTY, to preserve the past while creating the future, in a sense, providing comfort to those who do witness its glory.  Art is like God… not understandable.  not comprehendible.  not really tangible.  but still very powerful, if you chose to accept it and see it for what it is.  I often underestimate the artistic tendencies pulsing through my DNA, I just know that I have to express this…. this… this thing.  It’s art.  It’s, me.  And maybe you it’s you, too…. all of us, at different times in different ways get lucky and have something worthwhile to say.   And this really isn’t about luck.  This isn’t about entitlement.  This is not my ego screaming at your ego for telling me to sit down and shut up and listen (or don’t listen) to THIS or THAT Art, no… This is an infinite-way conversation ever-evolving composite of passion ready to erupt at any time.  This is not easy.  This is not profitable.  This isn’t an option.  The question is, do you have the time to share/care?  Because if not… my art will go fleetingly smooth into the night with all of the contributors who’ve come before and will ride again.  Should you chose to care, about this one artist, in one moment, creating this one memory, choose to remember this:

Art, is possibly the only thing that will be left when we are gone.  Let it legacize yourself, and to each his own, with honor.   And don’t forget to do it with a smile… because the show will go on.  Question is, would you rather be in the audience or on stage?

Love,
MissConception

72934_587991244560872_375132097_nwww.themissconception.com

Uncategorized

Fast Forward Rewind – Song Lyrics

Fast Forward Rewind

I ask you to listen to this song….and then contemplate.  Where does it come from?

When I write music, it has got to be about substance.  I don’t want to waste ANY time, meaning yours, let alone mine.  There must be a message.  Morality.  And it must be POSITIVE.  Why waste my time creating art that makes others feel bad??  An age old discussion….  Even though art, SHOULD be about addressing the hard subjects…. the tough calls and sticky situation.  There is a fine line between art that raises the vibration and art that tears one down.  This song, walks that like.

When a friend of mine passed away last year from an intentional research chemical overdose, I was asked to speak at the memorial service, which got me thinking “what IS the message I want to portray in my music, in my speech and practice…. to our young people, to each other”?  Don’t get me wrong, we all clearly like to cut loose and have a good time on the dance floor.  And I believe there is a reason that sacraments were put on this earth.   A lot of it depends on HOW you define sacrament, and as always, moderation is key.

I always come back to the fact that being happy with yourself, LOVING yourself FIRST, is always key to finding true love, inside and out.  If you aren’t happy emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually, then there is no way any drug or anybody else’s love is going to make it all go away.

We were put here on this earth TO DO THE WORK.  To make our souls even better.  To ‘deal with’ our ‘karma’.  To turn up the volume and make the world a better place, by giving ourselves a better face. And by face, I mean heart.

Thank you for opening your heart up WIDE ENOUGH to hear me ❤

Forever yours,
MissConception

SONG LYRICS

First question you ask
“Was it intentional?”
Like everything else in my life… isn’t intention essential?
Diggin it up fresh like yup, smells original
going out with a bang – quintessential.
So let me lesson your learning,
while your ears are still visible and yearning
Living ain’t all that simple
when your attitude is strictly viceral
and yes we are all a lil miserable
got our problems let em pop pop like pimples
hiding smiles without showing our dimples
as I slide my eyes just a little
 yes
I’m blown whistles
little missiles
as it chisels away
at the real problem essential
Can’t hold my tongue
even if i wanted to come,
tightened up and twisted
so your ears are forced to listen
come with it
And maybe it’s comical
but to me it’s rather diabolical
How dare we be takin’ gods molecules
flipping em out flooded it’s hollow and cruel
Second question,
was it overdose or suicide?
Or both, who knows, can’t tell, it was denied
by the family and though we tried understanding
it was all fine and dandy ’till intoxicants became the candy
whether wine or brandy cocktails
blowing codeine straight up or research hand me downs
We be demanding a whole new kinda standing
ovation where understanding is the motivation
Landing on a nice floatation device
Migration to an au natural space station
Straight from the past on blast dotting lines
Are we so far in and at the same time outta line?
how have we come this far out alive?
I hung the lightbulbs yes did you see the sign?
Still we takin’ our time riding out these blood line
straight to the divine if you don’t mind
I’m blown whistles
little missiles
as it chisels away
at the real problem essential
Can’t hold my tongue
even if i wanted to come,
tightened up and twisted
so your ears are forced to listen
come with it
And to me it’s comical
but still a little bit diabolical
how dare you take gods molecule
and flipping em out folded it’s hollow and cruel
Not cool
So are there any more questions?
now that we’re wide open to the lessons
welcome digressions
of what to make of this oppression
it’s an obsession
to redefine our perception
of what i think you to believe
and what you think you make of me
So let’s get serious up on this deliriousness
I’m leading with a toast so get comfy, let’s sew some oats lovely
Turning over new leafs
running fast in our cleats
If you don’t like the way I speak
it’ because  yes the truth reeks
Like tuna in a can
smells fishy I ain’t a fan
catch me if you can
time has come to reprimand
We’re blown whistles
little missiles
as it chisels away
at the real problem essential
Can’t hold my tongue
even if i wanted to become,
tightened up and twisted
so your ears are forced to listen
come with it
And maybe to it’s comical
but to me it’s all rather diabolical
How dare you take gods molecule
and flip it folded hollow it’s cruel
not cool…. not cool…

RIP AARON CORNEILUS FREID